A Little Sadder Now

Have you ever walked into the wall and then ask yourself, how could you not see it. I’m referring to a theroretic wall such as realizing Freud was right; it all stems from your childhood. I see the light now and now I know why I cry when Sean says, “Look at me, son. It’s not your fault.”. (Good Will Hunting 1997) A revelation albeit three quarters of a century late, but nonetheless I got it. And what could be more of a sign of its truth then to see it on the 30 anniversary of my dad passing.

Even though this knowledge is new to me, I now understand the emotion that the line evokes within me. Please, understand that, my life, my family life, my upbringing was nothing short of wonderful. I never hungered for food or love, it was always there. Within the life I was living had its fair share of grief, maybe even more that a fair share, but the key woman in my life, always held my hand when my heart and mind filled with sadness.

Mom taught me two important life lessons: 1. learn to be a waiter, this will always give you a few cents in your pockets, keep you stomach full. 2. always remember that your not poor, it is just a temporary time in your life of being broke. It will pass as do most things, as long as you work hard.

So from the desk of can you slice and serve smoked white fish? I learned how to be a waiter and worked catering. I was taught French service wearing white gloves, which at the end of the night needed to be white and unstained to be the mark of approval. My teacher, Mom.

Mom had me joined the Union and as a team most times, we worked with caterers in Westchester and on Long Island. One of the caterers we connected with was Salmon Caterers. The first job was a Bar Mitzvah. Mrs. Salmon asked me whether I could slice and serve smoked white fish? And as my lips were about to utter a response, Mom said,Yes, Yes he can. Mrs Salmon said good, he’ll make a good presentation at the smogasbord. Moving ahead to the time of service, me adorned in a Chefs hat, black apron over my waiters tux and with Mrs Salmon’s nod of approval, the doors open and the herd moves in.

Slicing and serving the fish is an art form which will only be successful at if you realize which way the grain runs. It didn’t take long for the line of guest to extend over to other areas of the feast. I had no choice, I had to serve the fish and everyone saw that my skill lacked any knowledge at all. So. realizing my Mom didn’t raise any idiots I moved from knife and cracker to spoon and cracker; And all just smiled. Soon the hall seem to become silent as Mrs Salmon was checking the tables. From the corner of my eye I see her approaching, now she is standing at my side and it only took a second for her to see my failure and with graces she looks at me, smiles and say’s, “I’ll remember this for the next one. Well Done.” and walks away with a laugh.

Three hours later as we are being paid Mrs Salmon ask’s Mom, Can you do the evening? Mom, looks at her then turns her head towards me and softly ask’s, and him. Mrs, Salmon smiles and say, YES, he was a hit with the guest and then adds she has another job tomorrow as well. Well from this day forward we were on her A team when ever she had work, we’d get the call. Oh, did I ever learn how to slice the fish, No, but I was a pro with the hot pastrami…

Final word and maybe a lesson for some: RULES. I photography there are unwritten rules and with some research you can find how they came about, but one rule I want to pass on to you. It has to be you in your photograph otherwise it’s a snapshot and not ART. So always press the shutter when your heart throbs. And when you see the results if you’re smiling or crying then you got it. Not that there is anything wrong with snapshots.