Comes But Once a Year
When your’e crossing a stream, you look for flat, staple rocks to step on in an effort to keep your feet dry. A lesson given to you at a very early time in your life is to always look both ways before crossing the street. I guess that there are many more that are unique to each of us in a personal way.
In my file of personal milestones is this one I remember the clearest. Although, this was reenforced by my seeing the photograph of the event many times over, since the event at my five year old Birthday. Nonetheless, a lesson that’s still clear in my mind and still seems appropriate for me. appropriate
While watching our children grow even as the physical distance between you may expand. Yes, as they go forth along their own path we can still read the signs of whether they are well or are struggling in some way. When there is silence as opposed to the chatter of music, be aware something is in the cauldron brewing. During the three months prior to camp comes these request from my son:
Son: “dad, can you get me a piece of plywood?”
Dad: “yes why?”
Son: “A school project.”
And with that he hands me a piece of paper with dimensions scribbled on it, I don’t ask any other questions since Im pleased that he is taking a greater interest in his schooling. Thanks, it’s good.
After delivering the plywood to him I am handed another request for some small blocks of wood. Now I am curious, but I really want to give him space to grow and not smother him. But I sure would like to see this “SCHOOL” project.
Two weeks prior to going off to camp we tell him to start packing his summer clothes and he eagerly response with an, “okay.” And as school draws to a close, I am compelled to ask about the project.
Dad: So how did your wood working project work out, can I see it?
Son; Just okay.
Since nothing else is said I drop it and move on feeling that this was a real growth moment for him. He had an idea, formulated how to put it together to his liking and then accept the outcome, however it may fall.
Pickup for camp is in the city at 8:00 AM. We’re there with plenty of time to spare and after the usual hand shakes and greetings, we are ushered off as he pushes his trunk into the bus cargo bin and wee are told we can go. How mature our 10 year old son has become, Not holding on until the last moment before the bus leaves. This is so wonderful.
Four weeks into the seven +1 season and we get a call. It is Jack Swan the camp owner and director. Jack starts out with telling us, that there is nothing wrong and then proceeds to tell us that our son has been in business while there and had there not been such a drastic change in the CAMPS CANTEEN we wouldn’t have noticed. Jack goes on and explains that his trunk has a false bottom and beneath that panel is a treasure trove of assorted candies. Do I laugh, or cry. Jack, laughs and says over 35 years in this camp business He had thought that he has seen it all; but this was a first. Well now I know; yes I have been duped.
Jumping ahead to his sophomore year of college. Silently a letter writing/telephone call pattern is created. The communication does wonders for me by making the 1000 miles us feels right, no anxiety. Ah, all is good. All is good until the day’s of silence become weeks. And once again, I must sit back and respect his silence as he continues to grow without my hand holding.
Yom Kippur, mail arrives and how perfect there’s an envelope for Him. I grab another cup of coffee, sit by the window and just absorbing the beauty of nature outside my living room window. Some color amongst the green pines and broken blue shies be grey clouds being pushed to the east, makes a perfect setting to read his mail.
Dear Dad, I am sorry that I have-not written in a while, but I have been busy working and caring a full schedule. I thought that since it is Yom Kippur, the day of Attonement, You would not be angry with me. I want to tell you that I didn’t knowhow to tell you that J is pregnant…
I afar from angry, I am incensed, All I want to do is break something, Holler at someone, do something and my anger is interupted by the phone ringing. I answer and snap at the caller. But its Martha, a close friend. I explain and I hear her laughing. Martha, its not funny. I’ll paraphrase here, She, nots not but its wonderful, your going to be a Grandfather, and somehow I anger is quelled and yes, I can see being a Zaddie is Wonderful.
I guess I went off topic here. So let me just sum up be saying, You can teach them the A,BC’s and tell them the pot is hot but until that attempt to finding out for themselves, our most important role in their life is offer an opinion when asked and if there is something you must say, Say it with Love and Patience…
A few days away from Yom Kippur 5785 (10.07/2024) with grandchildren all about and a great grandchild on its way. (Feb. 2025).
Art-in-photography.com/memoir 